Nathanial.Dread hat geschrieben: "Soft" Ego Death seems to happen more frequently at lower doses, and it's a sense that, while the experiencer is still having a 1st hand experience of existing, all the mental associations they have about themselves (their name, history, self-concept, etc), have been shed, leaving some kind of pure 'self.' That self, however, is still self-aware, and still understands itself as something different from the outside world (i.e. it can draw the distinction between that which is it, and that which is not it).
"Hard" Ego Death is something that I've only seen described at high doses [think LSD thumbprints], and that gets described as a total breakdown of the boundaries between the 'self' and the 'the universe.' It becomes impossible to distinguish where one ends and the universe begins. The internal monologue and subjective experience of being 'I' ends. This seems closer to the transcendental states described by early mystics in their writings on religious experience, while "Soft" Ego Death is more psychoanalytical or cognitive. "Soft" Ego death occurs in all cases of "Hard" ego death, but not vise versa. "Hard" ego death is almost like loosing consciousness, and more prone to descriptions such as "union," "becoming one with," or "God."
To me, there is nothing to do, nothing to think of, nothing to talk about, nothing to whatever, I am. I am one in the infinite now, unquestionable, indescribable, inseperable, unthinkable, even if I am not aware of. Ego death is an illusion because there has never been an ego at all.
The illsuion of the experiencer is my human experience itself, my dream in which I choose to forget about I to experience seperation. Life experiences itself as I experience I.
Being pure self arises only in the now, as a layer out of infinite onto I.
Grüße